The Curious Case of the Missing Candy Corn

One of the main reasons I started this blog was to keep a record of all of the funny stuff that happens in our house. I don’t want to forget anything! I want my kids to be able to look back and remember all of the fun and joy in our lives. I want them to know how they made us laugh.

So, I have just one more Halloween(ish) story that I have to tell before we officially move onto Thanksgiving.

I decorate our home for each season, some seasons are more elaborate than others like fall and Christmas. This year, among the fall foliage and warm colors, I added glass jar lanterns to the dining room table centerpiece. Believing my children to be old enough to “leave things alone”, I filled the lanterns with candy corn and nestled a candle in.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Oh, there it is, the candy corn candle holder that I was fully confident (mostly) my children would not touch.

Imagine my surprise (wink, wink) when the other night as we sat down to dinner, my husband noticed that one of the candles was leaning sideways and the candy corn had been “disturbed”. Upon further investigation, it became clear that quite a few candy corn were in fact, missing and that it was both candle holders, not just one. When Gary pointed this out, Nathan’s eyes got huge and he immediately said, “it NOT me! it NOT me!” Hmmmm, not the least bit suspicious.

When I pressed a little and asked a few questions, the five-year-old “wheels” started turning and without missing a beat, Nathan exclaimed “I know, I know, it was Sawahhh (Sara), she sooooo sneaky!”

You should have seen Sara’s face.

But before she could say anything, Nathan beings to tell the tale. His storyteller voice becomes hushed and Elmer Fuddish – as in “shhh, be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits”. I hope you get what I’m saying because the way he told this story was truly what made it so funny; of course, the dimples, mischievous sparkling eyes and expressive mannerisms didn’t hurt either. But I digress.

Nathan continues on, “yes, it was Sawah. She sneak up to da taybow and she reach vewy, vewy slowly and quietly into da jar an she take da canny corns so she can eat dem. An dats how it happen. It not me.” And he folds his arms, leans back in his chair and looks across the table at Sara as he shakes his head in disgust at her treachery.

Meanwhile, Sara’s mouth has hit the floor at the shock of the accusation just leveled at her. As the injustice of it all sinks in, she becomes defensive and insistent that she WAS NOT the one who took the candy corn.

We know this. This isn’t our first rodeo. We just couldn’t compose ourselves enough to reassure her. Thankfully, she caught on (I’m not sure if it was the poor attempt at concealing our laughter or the shaking or the tears that gave us away) and actually even played along as Nathan continued to insist that she was the culprit not him.

No, of course not, I mean …

“It not me.”

is this the sweet, innocent face of a storyteller willing to throw his sister under the bus to save himself? Why yes, yes it is.

We did manage to pull ourselves together enough to express our dismay at “anyone” who would sneak or lie or more importantly, mess with mommy’s decorations. He just turned five, if he’s still doing this sort of thing when he’s in law school, I’ll worry then.

Truthfully, I’m pretty excited that my boy with a speech and expressive language delay told such an elaborate tale and that I was able to clearly understand every devious word.